Perspective!

I have been young women’s president in our ward for five years. This summer I will have been in our ward's YW presidency for seven years!

Over the last 3 or 4 years I have hit a brick wall so many times. I just wanted to throw my hands up and say, "I can't do it any more!" I have been frustrated, tired, and burnt-out so many times. I think I have gone through these hard times because there was no end in site. My bishopric had hinted to me several times that they were not releasing me any time soon and so I didn't know how long my calling was going to go on. This was frustrating for me! I felt like I had done New Beginnings, YW in Excellence, firesides etc. so many times that I had nothing left to give. I felt like I had told every story I could think of and some stories more than once! I would get so frustrated with all the many problems that come from being in charge of 20 plus girls.

But, I usually just put my head down, vented to Matt, kept praying and I would always find my second wind and get my energy and excitement back! I am so glad and thankful that I never gave up on my calling or myself.

We are getting a new bishopric this fall and so I know that means that I will be released around the same time. When I very first heard this information, I was a bit relieved to at long last know my end date. I knew that I could pace myself and know how much more was expected of me.

However, since those initial feeling I have become very sentimental about my calling. On the way home from mutual last night I started crying, thinking about how much I am going to miss it! I now know that I am going to feel a huge loss and emptiness when I am released from my calling.

I love my girls! I love how much happiness they bring me. I never laugh as I do when I am with them. They bring me so much entertainment and joy. Every week, no matter what we do, they have fun and they lighten my heart. I am not sure that they would agree, but they have become a huge part of my life and I like to think I am a huge part of theirs. I know whom they have a crush on, I know what they are struggling with in their life, I know what their hopes and dreams are. I know who they are!

When I think of not being apart of that anymore I feel a huge loss and sadness. I really am going to miss them and being a part of their life. I am going to miss just hanging out with them and teasing them and listening to them. I tend to be a serious or sober person. I am not a goofy or free spirit. And yet, these girls make me smile! They make me not take things so serious. They bring and merriment into my life!

I can never repay them for the years of happiness they have brought me. They can never really know how much they have taught me and how much I have grown as a person because of them.

Who knows what is in store for me when this calling is over. But I am going to enjoy these next 7 months or so! I am going to soak up their sunshine and exuberance! I am going to try to reach out to the ones that have held back. I am going to give my all and do my best. I wont waste a single chance to do what my Heavenly Father wants me to do these last few months!